Friday, January 16, 2009

The Unborn: The movie that aborted its plot

Odette Yustman, hopefully looking for food, in "The Unborn."

The Unborn is a new horror movie starring Odette Yustman as someone I think named Cassie, the slightly too thin victim of an ancient Jewish demon..or something like that. Lots of things happen in the film that are mostly there for setting up the next cheapo scary jump cut, like when a character will open something and a monster will be inside or they'll close something and the monster will be behind them. Lost of characters appear doing various things. There's an Obi Won Kenobi like sage whose bad German accent seems to fade in and out as the dialogue dictates. Plus, as recent bad horror movie law tells us there can't be a movie without a really creepy little kid around to scare people. Well, there's TWO of them in this movie. So, take that "The Ring," take that "The Grudge" that'll teach you and your inferior 1 creepy kid movies. The demon wants revenge for something that happened during the holocaust so its possessing people to get to Cassie. Why it doesn't just posses her I have no clue. I think someone says something about how it needed "time" or something. I guess that's plausible but then it becomes clear that once it gets possessin' it inhabits the hell out of every character except Cassie. Anyway if you like shitty horror movies, as I do then this is a good one too see.

Pros: Hilarious scenes of not only a child being hit by a car (He Lives!) but also an old lady with a cane who falls down a flight of steps (She is still able to walk, sans cane!)
Commissioner Gordon and Stringer Bell from "The Wire" appear as part of a crack exorcism squad.

Cons: Rips off every movie in its genre most notably "The Ring," Jewish demon didn't once plotz or become verklempt.

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